“I will not succeed”: 5 steps to change the future

Many people do not dare to start new projects, change their profession, open their own business only because they are not confident in their own abilities. They believe that external obstacles and obstacles are to blame, but in fact they limit themselves, says psychologist Beth Kerland.

We often say to ourselves and hear from friends: “Nothing will work out”. This phrase deprives confidence. A deaf wall grows in front of us, which forces to turn back or stayed in place. It is difficult to move forward when words are perceived as an immutable fact.

“For most of my life, I admired those who achieved success: made a discovery and helped humanity, created a small business and built an empire, wrote a script by which a cult film was shot, was not afraid to speak before a multi -thousandth audience, and repeated to myself:“ I would not work out for me”. But once I thought about these words and realized that they were preventing me from reaching what I wanted, ”recalls Beth Kerland.

What is needed to achieve the impossible? Which will help to overcome the deaf wall of uncertainty in their own abilities and continue to path to their goals? The psychologist offers to start with five steps that can change life and tell me how to start moving forward.

1. Understand that your opinion about yourself is not the truth, but an erroneous judgment

We are inclined to recklessly believe the voice in our head, which repeats that we will definitely lose. We are going on the reason, because they convinced ourselves that it could not be otherwise. In fact, our judgments often turn out to be erroneous or distorted. Instead of repeating that it will not come out, say: “It is scary and difficult, but at least I will try”.

Pay attention to what is happening with your body when you pronounce this phrase. Try to practice meditation of awareness is a great way to track your thoughts and understand how variable they are.

2. Admit that afraid of the unknown is normal

It is not necessary to wait until doubts, fears and anxiety settle in order to take a chance and do what you dream about. It often seems to us that unpleasant emotions will accompany every step towards the goal. However, when we focus on what is truly valuable and important, it will be much easier to step over emotional discomfort and begin to act.

“Courage is not a lack of fear, but rather an understanding that there is something more important than fear,” wrote the American philosopher Ambrose Redmun. Ask yourself what is more important for you with fears and doubts why you are ready to come to terms with unpleasant feelings.

3. Break the way to a large goal into short, achievable stages

To take on what is not sure of what is not easy. But if you go in small steps and praise yourself for every achievement, there will be more confidence. In psychotherapy, the technique of graduated exposure is successfully used, when the client is a little, step by step, learns to accept situations that he avoids or is afraid.

“I have repeatedly seen what difficulties people cope with. Overcoming one stage and moving on to the next, they gradually gain strength, which helps to withstand new trials

. In addition, I was convinced from my own experience that it works, ”Bet Kerland shares.

Think about what a small step you can take today or this week to advance to a big and important goal.